The world is waiting for you

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Love Out
Come Out

Workshops • Speaking Lectures • Coaching

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The world is waiting for you.

To unapologetically be yourself and LOVE OUT.
COME OUT from the shadows of personal pain
and to the light of POWER and PURPOSE. 

Learn how to find your VOICE, expand your SOUL, feel your BODY and CREATE a life you are PROUD of!

 
 
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Past Lectures
 

 
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LOVE OUT COME OUT SAN DIEGO
September 25 2017

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LOVE OUT COME OUT BERLIN
OCTOBER 18 2017

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LOVE OUT COME OUT Hamburg
October 26 2017

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LOVE OUT COME OUT AMSTERDAM
NOVEMBER 3 2017

FOLLOW ME ON MY JOURNEY

When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Arguments are created when both parties are racing to occupy the victim position in a relationship.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ “How could you do this to me?”⁣⁣ “WTF do you mean? I’m the one who should be upset here.”⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ With more daggers thrown in each way, it’s easy to go down the blame/shame/guilt game, and get lost in the quest to be right and lose sight of the very thing both parties wanted in the first place- to feel love, acknowledged, connected.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Before going into a state of reactivity, know that your words and actions have impact. Know that you are personally responsible for creating the mood and the energetic shift of the relationship as its own entity. Therefore, it is to your mutual benefit to assume 100% responsibility for resolving the conflict. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ For those who are used to going into fight mode, asserting blame, often those who feel the need to be right- Practice openness, empathy, humility, forgiveness, kindness.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Where can you soften in your language?⁣⁣ Where can you allow for more authentic vulnerable communication, allowing your partner to feel safe and open to reveal their own experience?⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ For those who go into freeze mode- used to being compliant, passive, and underlying resentful, practice discernment and staying authentic to your voice and boundaries. Take ownership of where you haven’t shared your complete authentic truth or desires and defaulted into the mindset of “you should have known better…” ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Nobody should place or take 200% of the fault. Stay in integrity to your own personal truth. State your desires. Stick around for the negotiation.⁣ Soften. Dearmor your own heart by revealing and owning your own experiences ⁣ ⁣ Try using these prompts:⁣ “When x happened, I made it mean” ⁣ “The story I am creating is...”⁣ ⁣⁣ Good luck. And yes, I’m working on this too…⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. ⁣ 💓♥️💜🧡💚
APPROVAL TO ACCEPTANCE ⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ My mom used to preach us on the Confucian principle of filial piety, “the best gift you can give to your parents is not to cause them any worry or suffering.”⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ For me, growing up with filial piety and “saving face” mindset meant abiding by the “should” and “nice girl" life. Knowing my parents gave me life, food, and education, I am indebted to them and exist to make them proud and happy.⁣ ⁣ As a sensitive empath of workaholic parents, in a culture where we don’t talk about our underlying emotions, i conformed and performed for any hit of attention and approval, inconsistent as it may be.⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ “Don’t be too loud. Don’t cry. You’re too sensitive. Be less like a man, more like a lady!”⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ “Okay mama.” My inner child, subservient and willing.⁣ ⁣ ⁣To my queer asian women who felt lonely, conflicted, isolated, confused, it’s not easy for us to come out as we are in our complete truth. ⁣ ⁣ It took me until I was 26 to come out to my family and still even longer to break down concepts of “beauty” and what it means to be nonbinary.⁣ ⁣ I see now that they did the best they could with what they knew. ⁣⁣ And as I learn self love, I see I have less to prove. ⁣ ⁣ When we value others needs and tune into others demands over our own, we dim our light, squash our desires, and lose access to our creative vitality. ⁣ ⁣ When we womxn choose ourselves, we are breaking barriers and cycles of oppression within our culture that has been deeply entrenched for generations. ⁣ ⁣ The work then becomes this: Unlearn those patterns of performance. Give yourself permission to follow your own quirky drumbeat. Find tools to access your emotions fully. Seek acceptance within rather than find approval externally. ⁣ ⁣⁣ By prioritizing your healing, you can see when you go back to family how much progress you’ve really made.⁣ ⁣ This pic was taken 3 months ago. It makes me proud to see us as a family more expressive and open. Every reunion, I’m also learning to feel fully safe, less in head, more in body.⁣ ⁣ If you want emotional coming out support, you know where to find me!
It’s Okay Not To Be Nice⁣ ⁣ Just a healthy reminder for all you people pleasers out there, it’s okay not to be nice.⁣ ⁣ The more you identify with being nice, instead of being real, the more you will find yourself plagued by nagging doubts, insecurities, and lingering fears ⁣ ⁣ Take it from me, former and in recovery approval addict, guilty of the “nice guy” syndrome, imbued with the subservient accommodating conditioning of my Asian ancestors, fulfilling the needs of others for gaining love and self worth and for protection from abandonment and rejection, my niceness in the past had blinded me to manipulation and exploitation of my willingness to constantly please. Putting myself last puts me at dis-ease.⁣ ⁣ Keeping a front of niceness prevented me from showing anger and displeasure however justified it may be.⁣ ⁣ As I’m unpacking my repressed negative feelings, consciously choosing who I feel safe to be heard, I’m learning it’s okay to put myself first ⁣ ⁣ So this is a reminder for all y’all listening⁣ ⁣ It is far better for you to say what’s on your mind, even if you must communicate some negative feelings, than to stuff your thoughts inside and become anxious and conflict avoidant just to stay nice. ⁣ ⁣ 🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️ (PS this pic is adorable but you get the point right? Lol)
She lives in the deep dark underbelly of her thoughts, befriending the demons in her head, trusting that this time, this period of internal introspection and rest, coupled with acceptance and self love will one day bear fruit to the most delicious nectar, enough to even nourish those restless spirits in the light Trusting in the sweet stillness of breath 💓
On the intersection of Courage and Vulnerability lies Truth⁣ ⁣ It takes tremendous courage to stand up for truth. ⁣ ⁣ A tremendous determination and belief in one’s own truth to challenge others point of view.⁣ ⁣ A tremendous act of faith to enter the ego-destabilizing realm of not knowing and facing possible rejection or failure.⁣ ⁣ A tremendous heart to hold to reveal the underlying emotions that reside and bubble within you, exhaling in relief as you unveil with each and every admission, withhold, unexpressed desire, your authentic truth. ⁣ ⁣ A tremendous amount of willingness to choose vulnerability with every aligned conscious choice you make to mindfully and heartfully participate in life and in love.⁣ ⁣ We think of courage as a grandiose gesture like running bravely against fire. ⁣ ⁣ What if courage was just a soft whisper, whispered in the ears of your lover⁣ ⁣ “I have a desire…”⁣ “I’m sorry…”⁣ “Thank you…”⁣ “I love you…”⁣ “Please, stay…”⁣ ⁣ If courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, then choosing to speak in a vulnerable and authentic way from the heart is a means to access a deeper alignment into your Truth, regardless of the outcome..⁣ ⁣ What are 3 courageous acts from the heart you could take today?⁣ I’m rooting for you, Tiff ⁣ ♥️♥️♥️
National coming out day 🏳️‍🌈💓🌏⁣ ⁣ What can I say? I’m queer AF⁣ ⁣ There are days I dress up super femme as my priestess tantrika goddess earth tone wear. I like dresses bc i can tap into my sensual eros. And it feels nice not to wear pants. ⁣ ⁣ There are days I walk around topless with boxer briefs on around the house as my warrior dragon. I like keeping it simple. ⁣ ⁣ For the most part, I like being androgynous. I like the way I feel. I like the way I live in my body. ⁣ ⁣ These are the best days of my life this past year being comfortable in my body. ⁣ 🏳️‍🌈⁣ ⁣ I am queer, pansexual, Two-spirit, non-binary, anxious avoidant attachment style leaning towards secure with an emotional physical attraction towards femme womxn. I identify as tomboy femme with an even 50-50 masc/gem split. I am very switchy, playful, tender and primal. Shapeshifter sensual energetic are my erotic blueprints ⁣ 🏳️‍🌈⁣ I falter between monogamy and polyamory and have decided to be solopoly (I am my own primary partner). ⁣ 🏳️‍🌈⁣ I came out of the closet 4 years ago to my parents when I was living in China. Even then I was super sexually repressed and knew I needed to work on my triggers around sex and intimacy, so I decided to make the move to SF to deep dive in conscious sexuality communities. For the next 3 years I studied under the philosophies of “follow your pussy”, “Power of Orgasm” and “Divine Feminine” Priestess School @sofiasundari and “Learn about the union of masculine and feminine” School of Tribal Tantra @tribaltantra 🏳️‍🌈⁣ I learned a lot about who I am and how I love. All of this to say, while I was healing my relationship with all of my chakras, my body, pussy, and heart, falling in and out of love, i began to notice the circles around me were for the most part white and straight⁣ 🏳️‍🌈⁣ It was this year that I began to explore the intersection of my sexual identity and my race fully. ⁣ ⁣ As a queer Asian non-binary womxn I am out and proud. I acknowledge there are few women in the field that are in my position and in my lineage doing the beautiful work of sacred sexual healing and embodiment of emotional alchemy.⁣ ⁣ Continued in comments below
WHAT IS EMBODIMENT?⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ To me, EMBODIMENT is INTIMACY. It comes with the territory of embracing my own SENSUALITY, feeling empowered in my fluid SEXUALITY, fully stepping into my SOVEREIGNTY, grounding and landing in this REALITY. And when PRESENCING with another human being, learning how to open and flow in each and every moment AUTHENTICALLY.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ 💁🏻‍♀️To embody is to fully show up, to access something deep within you, to ride the emotional waves of expansion and contraction, moving with the sensation, holding your ground, unwavering and solid in your own divine truth.⁣ ⁣⁣ 💁🏻‍♀️To embody oneself in the presence of another is navigating moment to moment, experiencing with curiosity versus control⁣, attuned to your surroundings and boundaries.⁣ ⁣⁣ 💁🏻‍♀️To embody oneself means to come out of hiding and transmit your intentions and your open heart, rich with all of the feelings, longings, excitement, timidness, dominance, heartache, love without need of words.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ To embody is simply to BE. #itsavibe ⁣ Which is simple to say and harder to do. Since the fast paced reality we live in doesn’t allow us to slow down to unearth what’s tender, honest, real in the moment…⁣ ⁣ Which is a shame bc being fully embodied may be the most profound thing of what it means to be human. To be HERE now. Even if it painful. Or messy. Or vulnerable AF. ⁣ ⁣⁣ It’s SOO much easier to dissociate, numb out, check out, dissipate, deflect, avoid…⁣ ⁣ But I’m here to tell you. This journey isn’t easy but it’s worth it. ⁣ ⁣ In the past years of unmasking my subservient asian conditioning of “saving face”, owning my queerness, stepping into dance floors with embodied confidence, I’ve tapped into deep emotional states of my being that unlock the beautiful complexities of my spirit. ⁣(And let me tell you, it’s a trip y’all.) 🌊🌊🌊 ⁣ And I’m still learning... Each day. I feel myself deepening and prioritizing my own connection back to presence and love. This is THE work.. And I’m taking a stance for this for ALL. If you want support in finding your authentic embodied essence, I’m here for you. Home in your body and peace in your mind.⁣ 🙏🙏 ⁣⁣ 🏳️‍🌈Your Queer Asian embodiment ❤️ coach,⁣⁣ Tiff
This is what community feels like!⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Tonight at Queer Asian Women Circle, we explored our relationship with shame, blame, and guilt. 😞😤😣#divingdeep ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ There was a common thread around associating these feels with our ties to our family and acknowledging the impact they have had on us and we have on them. Here’s to a collective breath to healing our generational wounds in this lifetime and knowing by speaking about it, by bringing it to awareness, we no longer have to feel victimized or hindered by cultural conditioning outside of our control and can instead bring back love from within and create a reality of genuine heart felt connections. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ We also identified where we stored shame, blame, and guilt in our bodies- for me it’s all in my head and shoulders and stomach. I literally hunch over and feel tightness of breath. We touched and loved up on the spots in our body and used sound, breath, and movement to empty and flush it out at the end of circle. ⁣ ⁣ I am having a lot of fun fine tuning how circles are run!! Adding movement is so key after stirring up so much heavy stuff we’ve internalized for so long. ⁣ ⁣⁣ As an intimacy alchemist and facilitator, I am listening to the common threads and pieces in our language and lived experiences with the intention to build content around it for further guidance and support. There is so much that wants to be expressed here...⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And as a participant, I’m also healing and benefiting from listening to stories and openly sharing where I’ve been and what I’m currently in the midst of tracking within my own process. Humbled and grateful AF to see and hear the willingness we all have to look at these spots with tender attuned attention and vulnerability. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Y’all I’m living and loving deep right now 🥰🥰🥰 ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ If you are queer non-binary Asian in the Bay Area and are interested in seeking conscious community, come join us. We meet biweekly on Monday’s at @heart_beatcollective ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Stay tuned !⁣⁣ 🙏♥️⚡️💜
Do you Identify as a People Pleaser?⁣ ⁣ You strive to please others, to fit in, and feel accepted.⁣ You mold yourself to fit into what you think you should be for others in order to be liked. ⁣ You push down who you are, pretend to be someone else, numb out and ignore your own wants, needs, preferences, beliefs, opinions⁣ You struggle with boundaries and give your power away in order to keep and maintain a relationship⁣ ⁣ News Flash: People who struggle with people pleasing are powerless.⁣ ⁣ Yo…this is hard to swallow and know you’re not alone. ⁣ I’ve struggled this with all of my life  growing up and am hellbent on disrupting the patterns of PPing within this lifetime. ⁣ ⁣ While you have good intentions at heart, know that by staying in PP land, you’re undervaluing your time and worth and endangering your relationships around you.⁣ ⁣ If you don’t value your own time, how is anyone else going to value yours? People are following your lead. Don’t give your power away. It was yours to start with and never theirs to keep.⁣ ⁣ 3 things I want to impart with⁣ ⁣ Be curious with where your PP head came from. Perhaps you wanted to keep a depressive parent in a better mood and thought that their love was conditional and you had to conform to meet their needs. Gentle. Love and forgive yourself here.⁣ ⁣ Take the time to notice YOUR own body’s signals for what a YES feels like and a NO. Practice saying “let me get back to you” and take your space, dig into your bodily awareness, and then come back with self assured conviction of your decision.⁣ ⁣ Build your sense of worth from the inside. Learn how to be with yourself in your own energy. Know that it isn’t the end of the world if someone is disappointed or upset with you. You at least still have a relationship with YOURSELF. ⁣ ⁣ And remember….⁣ you’re fcking awesome. You are worthy. You are whole. I’m here for you.⁣ ⁣ I love you no matter what.⁣ ⁣ Tiff
KEY OF LIFE ⁣ ⁣ “There is new life being born through you now. It could be in a creative sense, or in a physical sense, in terms of health or even a baby that wishes to be born, or a new project that needs to be created in service to humanity. This new life being born, in whatever form, will enrich your life, bringing you more into wholeness and fulfillment. Let it happen.” - ISIS Oracle Deck ⁣ ⁣ I was with my soul sister Ashley @_movefreely in two separate readings when she pulled the Key of Life card. Talk about divine timing. ⁣ ⁣ I’ve witnessed her growth and evolution carrying this key of life within. Learning surrender and patience, slowing down, listening, resting, pouring attention and seeing how her baby boy grows, kicks, dances, responds, take shape and form with every deliberate thought, love, and action she pours into her mind, body, soul. DNA upgrading within two bodies with a sense of fiery protection and fierce loyalty. I’ve never seen motherhood like this in real time. ⁣ I stand amazed and in awe at the power of women and our wombs of divine creation. I stand in respect and reverence in the power of mothers and their immediate download of unconditional love and devotion. Shoutout to conscious mamas who do the work in releasing their own generational wounds and clearing karmic loops so they can birth life and bring a pure vessel of bright light and sharp sight into this New Earth!! ⁣ ⁣ Ashley- You are so supported. What a beautiful initiation into higher consciousness. Proud to be witness and grateful to soak in the magic of your birthing process!⁣ ⁣ And ⁣ ⁣ I’m taking this all in. The Earth mama Creatrix codes. And I see how it’s to my benefit to create higher standards for my own birthing process. For me this means more commitment to my coaching business, attention to my artistry, allowance to see things through past the discomfort, permission to fail and start over again, fierce loyalty to build and foster and grow vision into reality... how you do anything is how you do everything y’all. With love, patience, attention without abandon. Get ready for this! #keyoflife🙏
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